Janet Reno,
the shaky underbelly of
the Department of Injustice.

Janet Reno shakes so bad, ...

• the last time she tried to give a salute she lost an ear.
• her manicurist uses body straps and curare.
• her photo ops require ISO 1000 film.
• her passport photo has three heads.
• she trims her hedges with her finger nails.
• they gave her three zip codes.

Q: Why does Janet Reno use a bidet?
A: The last time she tried to wipe her ass she needed a skin graft.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Nobody, it was just Janet Reno trying to hold down the podium.

I hate to imagine what it's like standing next to Janet Reno at a urinal but if she ever tries to open a beer can, duck and cover.

Q: How many attorney generals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one but you'll need a roll of duct tape and a guide wire.

If you have a problem with being related to apes, wait until you hear you're sharing a species with Janet Reno.

All Janet Reno needs is a good woman.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Janet Reno's balls.
Women don't have balls.
Ok, Clinton's balls under new management.

If you doubt dog is man's best friend, try letting Janet Reno dry hump your leg.

Q: Why doesn't Janet Reno drink milk?
A: It turns to butter before it reaches her mouth.

If modern science can immobilize an atom, why can't they at least reduce Janet Reno to a mild shimmy?

Q: What is the difference between FDR and Bill Clinton?
A: Frank needed his Attorney General to shake his willie and Slick Willie can't stop his Attorney General from shaking.

You hostile bastards., you wouldn't think twice about stuffing a blind man's guide dog and putting roller skates on it but you want my willie on pike for laughing at a couple of gimps.

April 25, 2000

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