Monica Lewinsky

White House Trailer Trash Soap Opera

Starring Smucko, Booba and That Woman

Jokes by Dan The IRS wants to audit Monica Lewinsky to see if she’s claimed the money she saved by eating at Bill’s Bill and Monica were made for each other. Monica has a crooked mouth. What’s the difference between Vince Foster, Ron Brown, and Monica Lewinsky? Monica is the only one who took a shot in the head from Bill and lived to tell about it. What does being an intern at the Whitehouse prepare one to do? A recent survey showed that 16% of former interns qualified as carpenters for making Bill’s banana stand, 28% became kneepad salesmen, and 58% became head tasters at factorys making strong cheese. The President is very excited about his new educational program for America’s children. He plans to teach sex education himself and believes he can solve the problem of ‘no meat’ in the school lunch program at the same time. There was an old creep called Slick Willy Whose deportment was sometimes quite silly With a wink of his eye As he zipped down his fly He’d pork the mouth of some filly When asked how she was going to avoid all this embarrassing ‘oral sex’ talk that keeps popping up, Monica said, "from now on, I’m going to put it all behind me." To avoid the possibility of accusations of impropriety, the President had a toothbrush surgically implanted in the head of his penis. The President denied that his relationship with Miss Lewinsky was sexual and insisted he was only giving her voice lessons by making her sing ‘The star Spangled Banner’ while holding two small balls in her mouth. Asked what Clinton felt about his state of the ‘union’, he said, "extremely gratifying." Clinton is still denying that his relationship with Monica was sexual and claims that he was depressed and deflated and Monica was just trying to keep him pumped up. Capital Hill definitions: Intern: Be patient. All attractive pages will have the opportunity to ‘serve’ the President ‘in turn’. Serve: Put your moniker on this. Pants: What Monika is always doing and Bill can’t keep on. Bill asked Hillary for $10 for Guinea pig, and Hillary replied, "here’s $20. Go get yourself a nice Polish girl---so he did!" Mae Edwards E-Mail: inlaw@sccoast.net

A Right Wing Conspiracy Plan Now stories in DC are rife, With rumors of Bill’s private life. Trouble is brewing. He won’t stop his screwing, And none of it’s with his dear wife. They say that his member is bent. Such talk of the President!! But none can agree To what degree, And in which direction it went. If you’ve ever seen Hillary’s pan, It’s hard to place blame on the man. But as to his member, She cannot remember. It’s never been part of her plan. For the Pres. oral was prefrential. The scene didn’t look presidential, The Chief was quite pleased, To have the Aide on her knees, In a shot that would prove consequential. Old Bill had his hand on her head. He looked in her eyes and he said, "I feel like a winner, And not a real sinner. Can you sing me a song while you’re fed." She nodded and broke into song. With a voice that was clear and strong, In a spectacular manner, The Star Spangled Banner, While keeping both lips on his dong. And then there’s the stain on the dress, That’s put Bill under some stress. Should he deny it, The facts sure imply it, Her mouth couldn’t hold the excess. Or was it a whole different matter? Dismissed as being tabloid tatter, Was the president wearing, the dress she was sharing, Crossdressing while spilling his batter? For an intern she’s a hell of a girl. Bill told her, "it’s only a whirl, And I’ll never confess, to this whole nasty mess, If ever your lips do unfurl." Now Slick is a real miracle man. The polls show if anyone can, He can stick it in double, And come out of trouble, It’s a Right Wing conspiracy plan. Mae Edwards E-Mail: inlaw@sccoast.net

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