Monica Lewinsky

White House Trailer Trash Soap Opera

Starring Smucko, Booba and That Woman

An intern not yet twenty-six Found she could work wonders with dicks    Though she had no spouse    She found the White House A place to perform all her tricks. Sick Wille may not be "Tricky Dick" but he's still history. Order you copy today!

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" exclaims the President. "It's this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?" the aide replies. "Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President.

Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?
A: "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Q: Why does Bill Clinton cheat on Hillary?
A: He wants to be on top.

Q: How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down?
A: He married her.

Clinton is looking out of the window and he notices that someone has urinated the message, "BILL SUCKS!" on a wall outside the White House. Furious, he orders the FBI to take urine and handwriting samples from every member of the White House staff and find the culprit immediately. A week later, the FBI director calls. "Mr. President, I have good news and bad news," he says. "The good news is that the urine belongs to Bob Dole." "And the bad news?" Clinton demands. After a slight pause, the director replies, "Sir, the handwriting belongs to your wife!"

Q: How many women does it take to satisfy Bill Clinton's sexual appetite?
A: It Takes A Village!

Bill and Monica: Together again!

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President French-Fry was out jogging when a Hooker standing on the corner hailed him. "Hey Mr. President! Fifty bucks!" "No, no." Bill replied with a grin, "Five bucks!" and kept on jogging. This exchange soon became a part of the President's normal routine. Each day as he'd approach the corner, the hooker would yell out, "Hey Mr. President... Fifty Bucks!" and Bill would holler back, "No, Five Bucks!" Well, one day, Hillary decided she wanted to go jogging with Bill. As they neared the corner, Bill suddenly realized what a terrible scene was about to happen. Sure enough, there was the hooker, and just like all the other times she smiled and waved and yelled out, "Hey Mr. President......See what you get for Five Bucks!"

Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat?
A: When she didn't swallow everything he presented.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.

Q: What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A: A girl that can run faster than the Governor.

Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes *he* did?
A: An ex wife and a dead girlfriend.

Q: What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
A: Swallow the leader

Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
A: If you had Janet Reno as a mother, how do think you'd look.

Q: Why does Clinton wear underwear?
A: To keep his ankles warm.

Three great presidential sayings:
Ronald Reagan: "Go ahead, make my day"
George Bush: "Read my lips no new taxes"
Bill Clinton: "Blow me"

Q: What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
A: "Sat on the Presidential Staff"

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton", 86% replied, "Not again"

Q: What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
A: Fornigate.

Previous Clinton/Monica Jokes page Presidential Kneepads - Monica went to the White House to get her presidential kneepads. You can order yours right here. Clinton/Lewinsky - This bumper sticker will be a collector's item someday. Joke of the Day MONICA LEWINSKY PICS Scandalous Limerix - Get your copy before Clinton is history. NOT!News - It's not tasteless but it's better than network TV.

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