THE BUBBA OF SCUZ
THE BUBBA OF SCUZ
BimboGate according to Dr. Seuss
(revised - apologies to the original author)
The Bubba of Scuz
And the Bimbo of Lew
Were sharing a pizza,
With nothing to do.
They sat and they talked
Although little was said,
So they dabbled in
Bumblefunumpus instead.
She fanumpled his fud;
And played "hide the cigar".
And they plorked on the phone,
When they were afar.
Now the Bubba already was
Deep in the doo,
For pulling his thrump
To give Paula a view.
'Cause he was her boss
And he wasn't polite,
When he told her to fuggle
His schtumple that night.
So she charged him in court
With grand Nasty-Harass,
And he perjured himself.
Oh, the Bubba was brass.
Meanwhile the Web Hubble
Was offered a deal
To rat on the Bubba;
He was ready to squeal.
He knew of Whitewater,
And the Madison tale.
What he knew about Bubba
Might send him to jail.
But the Jordan was handy
With boodles of cash,
From Revlon and others
It was quite a stash.
So the Hubble was silent,
He clammed up in court.
Then he snatched Jordan's boodle,
And was off with a snort
Now the Bimbo, remember
I told you before,
Had fanumpled the president.
Need we know more?
So she hinted and threatened,
She wanted a job.
And she might tell the court
How she'd polished his knob.
So they tampered a witness,
The Jord and the Boffer;
The Jordan called Revlon.
They made her an offer.
The cases: corruption and Nasty-Harassus,
Bubb' perjured and blurjured and lied to the judge.
Then he twisted and jisted and scrampled the words up,
And waggled his finger from down in the sludge.
But the people forgave him,
What else could they do.
He said he was sorry,
And his lies were all true.
And if they were not,
It's a personal thing.
And you can't blame a Bubba
For having a fling.
Nor for groping the Willey,
Nor Travelgate too,
Nor the FBI files
He was keeping on you.
Nor for selling Abe's bed,
Or the Chinagate mess,
Or for all of his friends
Who just wouldn't confess.
We need the ol' Bubba
To keep us afloat.
There's trouble a brewin',
There's leaks in our boat.
There's Huns at the gate,
And a financial flu;
Much work that the Bubba
Has got to get to.
So we've got our Bubb 'n
Two laws in the land;
One for us plain folk,
And one for the grand.
Sometimes a compromise
Needs to be made,
When you're knee-deep in gators
And desperate for aid.
Sometimes your principles
Can't come along,
When your country needs Bubba
And things are so wrong.
If we didn't need him
We'd framble his pratt,
But then we'd have Algore
And who would want that?
starman2@webtv.net
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