Monica Lewinsky

White House Trailer Trash Soap Opera

Starring Smucko, Booba and That Woman

Image courtesy CPR-Coalition of Patriotic Republicans

The question the media is afraid to ask:
Did Monica Lewinsky swallow?

"Tonight, we've secretly substituted the coffee creamer in this exclusive Washington, D.C. restaurant with ...

It even grosses me out to finish that one but Eleanor Clift did know the difference.

No, the dog put prickly pears in my beer and I can tell you they are a bear to pass but that's not important now. The story is in Washington, D.C.

The Prez was caught slipping the "Slick Willie" to a 21 year old intern.

NOT!News a parody of the liberal media.

McCurry is telling the White House press corps the First Joint -- No not the "I didn't inhale" story. Wee Willie's wet willie. The presidential digit. Clinton's embarrassment and Hillary's curse. The First Wienie. The presidential staff. The White House secretarial pool's inside joke. Bill's zipper zapper. Clinton personal Washington's Monument. The Arkansas sticker. The pig's poke. The one-eyed interviewer of the Oval Office. The trouser-snake without trousers. The First Family's hotdog continually in search of a bun. A hard outtie looking for an easy innie. The sax of sex. The inhabitant of the MTV question. The only wang with it own secret service detail. The troll guarding the zipper to the 21st century. The loose hose of the White House fire brigade. A small member of the private White House tour. The brass ring of the bimbo groupies. The rat Clinton lawyer, Bill Bennett, keeps smelling. The popsicle Hillary gives the cold shoulder. The worker of the country. The unit in charge of the royal zipper. The brains of the outfit. Clinton's moral compass. The Paula Jones welcome committee. The only part of Clinton that gets up when a women enters the room. Clinton sexual history, I hear he's got notches on the damn thing. The president's most private and personal adviser. The ambassador of love. The presidental pole. Spare the rod and spoil the affair. The cue stick for pocket pool. The tie breaker for new hires. When the president says, "Fuck you," this is the member of the presidental staff that backs it up. First witness for the president's impeachment. It may not be a stamp but it still has to be licked. The administration goal setter. The silent witness that was in the room with Bill Clinton and Paula Jones. The only pole Clinton really listens to. The product of Swedish surgeons. Betsy Wrights worst nightmare. Primary prop in Clinton's "speak into the microphone" joke. Official spokesman for the president's ego. Guest on tomorrow's Nightline. Chief adviser for presidental interdiction. The trouble maker. The only part of Bill Clinton that Hillary hasn't put up with. Air Force One's pogo stick. The plug for the White House asshole that leaks. A small player but it keeps the presidental balls from being held in the same place at the same time. If you know what I mean and I think you do. -- isn't big enough to legally be considered sexual penetration.

When McCurry says, "no improper relationship." He's just saying Clinton didn't put on his fireman's outfit and play "Putting out the Fire" all over Monica's face.

Did you hear Sam Donaldson demanding his fair share of the sloppy seconds?

Back to McCurry, "... There is no story here. She may be looker by Clinton standards but Baywatch has better. You guys should be in Hollywood trying to interview them. And don't even think about bringing up that Barbara S. story again. A French kiss for the presidential staff is not a blow job. "And don't get me started about Paula Jones. Damn Arkansas air heads can't even follow simple instructions. She was told to keep her mouth open in the hotel and keep it shut when she left. The dumb bitch got it backwards.

My liberal(!) son just came in. He doesn't know whether to shit or go blind. He just finished giving me his 10 minute imitation of James Carville. "All 50 year old married men bang 21 year old chicks and lie about it under oath." "How can you pick on a great man like Clinton for having a loose dick after all he's done to this country?"

Selling out to Red China. Disabling our nuclear weapons. Offing members of this own administration. Giving British secrets to the IRA.

Every time I have to think about what Clinton's done for this country, I remember passing the prickly pears.

Before we return to our regularly scheduled program, a word from our sponser.

McCurry finished the press conference by explaining, "... and if Hillary's finds out who's been putting the itching powder in the tampon dispenser. Heads will roll and I don't think she's talking about shoulders. If you know what I mean and I think you do."

From the crowd of reporters, an unidentified voice shouts, "If I don't have a 21 year old intern sitting on my face before my deadline tomorrow, the first bitch will have a lot bigger troubles to worry about than having to ask Janet Reno to come over and scratch her cunt." Another unidentified voice answered, "You tell 'em Cokie!"

Previous Clinton/Monica Jokes page Presidential Kneepads - Don't enter the Oval Office without them. Clinton/Lewinsky - This bumper sticker will be a collector's item someday. Clinton Scandal! Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Scandalous Limerix - Find our what rhymes with bimbo. NOT!News - Check it out or die.

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