Tasteless Clinton/Monica Lewinsky Jokes(2): White House Intern Employment Application

Monica Lewinsky

White House Trailer Trash Soap Opera

Starring Smucko, Booba and That Woman

     White House Intern Employment Application

Name: _________________ (Optional)

Age:
  Legal: __
  Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Sex:
  Oral     __
  Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Position applying for:
  On top: __
  Below:  __
  Behind: __
  Other:  __ (Please describe in graphic detail.)
          ______________________________________
          ______________________________________
          ______________________________________

Education Level:
  You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up  __
  Oral sex is not adultery                         __
  You're still a virgin if he pulls out early      __
  It's not perjury if it's a civil case            __
  Less than five women isn't cheating              __

Typing Speed: __ words per minute.
              __ words per minute using only tongue.

Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose:
  5 feet:                 __
  10 feet:                __
  100 feet:               __
  Don't need garden hose: __

List other talents that you believe qualify you for
a White House position:
  Above the waist:
          ______________________________________
  Below the waist:
          ______________________________________
  Kama Sutra:
    Page number(s):
          ______________________________________

Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder?
  No               __
  Grand jury alert __

Do you keep a diary?
  No  __
  Yes __
    If yes, do you lie to it?
      ______________________________________

How would you best describe your reasons for wanting
to work for the White House?
  Serve my country                      __
  Report what is going on to Hillary    __
  Join the Air Force One Mile High Club __

Previous Experience:
  Hugh Hefner:      __
  Dallas Cowboys:   __
  Seventh Fleet:    __
  JFK:              __
  The Night Stalker __

Reason for leaving previous position?
  Employer died in ecstasy          __
  Subpoena                          __
  Death threat from employer's wife __
  Boyfriend killed employer         __
    but it's OK. He still in jail   __

References:
  Gennifer Flowers __
  Paula Jones      __
  Monica Lewinsky  __
  Janet Reno       __
  Ted Kennedy      __
  Ken Starr        __
  Sam Donaldson    __

Where did you hear about this job?
  Personal ad              __
    National Enquirer         __
    New York Times            __
    Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __
  Dick Morris              __
  James Carville           __  (We 
are not responsible for the hundred
dollars he may promised you or
your trailer park!)
  Phone number in bathroom __
  Secret Witness Program   __

============================================================
Employer use only:
  Slick Wille       | Little Wille           | 1st Bitch
    Loser       __  |   Loose lips        __ |   Bill     __
    OK          __  |   Deep Throat       __ |   Janet    __
    Oval Office __  |   Zip Lock          __ |   Files    __
    Willie Room __  |   Presidential Seal __ |   My Place __

Form 1-98-7354               the.web.walker@pobox.com - 1998

A witness was rated adept
About how the President slept
The chief's Secret Service
Was making him nervous
But the Service's secrets are kept.

A right-wing spin doctor who's spun
Lurid tales about Monica's fun
Exclaimed when his eyes
Saw the fruit of his lies
"We've gotten O.J. off page one!"

It's only about rhyme. Everyone does it.
Pre-impeachment copies still available.
Order this collector's item NOW!

The President swore to the sky
He'd never asked someone to lie
But the chance was then missed
To request that he list
Positions he'd told them to try.