Hello all,
It seems, I forgot this is supposted to be about tasteless jokes.
Well, it took James A. Russo to remind me what it's all about.
It's about cum all over the face of a White House intern. It's about the president of the United States taking a shit on Iraq. It's about a president saying he'll repect us in the morning.
So if you have the stomach for it. If Hillary isn't touring the world with your balls, here are the questions we should be asking and the answers we fucking deserve.
So here it is. Monica speaking for the head of the nation. (As little as it may be.)
1. How did the prez cum taste?
A lot like his "State of the Union" speech.
2. Were u on your
Knees?
No, my presidental
knee-pads.
3. Was the Prez holding onto your ears??
Yes, his drug problem effects his balance.
4. Did U deep throat him? If so, did u get to the base..
You don't have to "deep throat him" to get to the base of the presidential staff. It's not even a mouthful.
5. Was the prez drinking beer? if so, did he try 2 use the top of your head as a beer stand.
The lines of coke on the mirror didn't leave room for a beer can.
6. What technique did u use..ie; butter fly flick, ice cream lickin', hand mouth coordination did u just dabble, deep throat, balls to the walls, side shaft lickin', just suck the purple helmet,
The "Blewinski Technique" (TM, patent pending).
7. Did U unzip his fly...or did he have it out and at attention? after all he is the commander-n-chief
Smucko wears neither pants nor shorts in the Oval Office.
8. Was it soft...if so, how did U get it to salute?
The Creep hasn't had a hard erection since his boyfriend died in that park.
9. Did he slam the warhead at U? if so, did he first use his black briefcase to call anyone ?
No, but I did ask for a magnifying glass.
10. When on his shaft...Were u lookin' up at his eyes mysteriously....
No, the Big He had me wear a bag over my head with a picture of Janet Reno on it.
11. Were your hungry lips gentle on his military helmet ?
Of course. What with him already feeling everyone else's pain. When not busy feeling my ass.
12. Who had the raincoat? Mr. Prez, U, or Hillary???
The Secret Service agent watching us.
13. Did the Prez attach a vacuum gauge on his balls to ccc if U could obtain a perfect vacuum?
No need. I passed the "golf ball" test on my intern exam with flying colors.
14. Was this the first time U ever gave Skull?
Wake up and smell the cum stains. This is the 90's dude.
15. At what age did U give your first Blow job?
I can't say exactly but the doctor who delivered me went home with a smile on his face, deducted blow job from the bill and is still in jail.
16. When the Prez started to kum, did he ask U to Jam a finger up his ass?
There wasn't room. What with Carville's head up there.
17. Did U squeeze onto that back vein when the load started to kum?...
Hey! I barely had even to hold on to much less searching for some damn vein.
18. Was the Prez able to bounce off your tonsils?....
The Creep was lucky to reach pass my lips.
19. After U accepted the Load, was your hair noticeable shinier afterwards?
Now that you mention it, yes and I also had a weird urge to donate money to his campaign.
20. Evidently, U weren't able to swallow the hole load, how many shot-spots did U get on your dress?
Just one teeny-tiny little spot and he dump load before I could get it in his mouth.
21. Did he ask U to join the Navy and bee a true seamen???
No but he did offer me a position on the presidential staff.
22. After Mr. Prez blew his load....did U pull out a tooth brush to scrub your teeth?
No but I did douche afterwards.
23. Did U Gargle with it? if so....have U considered doing commercials for Scope?
No but the CDC wants me to public service announcements warning you can get sex from aides.
24. Did U kiss him afterwards??? if so, did U blow back some kum?
Are you kidding? Have you seen his big ugly nose?
25. Did Mr. Prez tell U, U got the whitest teeth I'v ever kum across?
Yes. Yes, he did but he says that to all the White House interns.
26. When on his "unit" did u get any pubies stuck in-between your teeth? if so, did u gage?
Yes. I just put them on a coke can sitting on his desk.
27. Did Mr. Prez tell U this is 4 god and country?
No but he did ask for an extra one for his friend Vernon.
28. Did Mr. Prez Pull out a paper bag? if so did U sit down with him and make a flag on it?
Yes. Would won't beleive what is man can pull out of his ass.
29. Did Mr. Prez tell U that he was doing this for "old glory" did U put holes in the bag for your eyes and ears?
No, he said he was doing it "for the children" and some bitch in Bosnia.
30. Did Mr. Prez talk to U during the "act" ? Words to the affect of; Atta baby,
No. He was on the phone with his pal Dick Morris.
31. Was this the biggest Load of Kum U ever dealt with?
No way! I've been down on the best.
32. Afterwards...did Mr. Prez ask U to meat with the NRA...to inform them he only shoots blanks?
He didn't ask me to speak with the NRA. Did you notice how much Chelsea looks like Web Hubbel?
33. When he shot his wadd, did U stand back? did Mr. Prez stroke his shaft to release his manhood? If so, did U catch it?? did he give U a stuffed animal afterwards? Did Mr. Prez pull out his Guinness book of world records to check for farthest kum catch?
Stand back? Manhood? World records? It took three Secret Service agents and a bloodhound to find the damn thing before I could get down to work.
34. Did Mr. Prez tell U that "eatin' ain't cheatin"?
Yes and he said it was in the bible and I could look it up.
35. Did Mr. Prez tell U that he just had a vascomety and that he needed a seamen sample to give doctor "stopp" (famous doc in Rochester NY,) ?
No but he said if I did former Surgeon General Koop(?), I might get his burial plot in Arlington.
36. When the secret service agent arrived, did U all of a sudden turn your eyes and say OHHH shit I'll have to "blow the hole team"?
I didn't say "Oh, shit!"
37. When Mr. Prez started to shoot his wadd....how many times did it erupt?
Only once and I think he faked it.
38. Was the the biggest load your Hungry mouth ever accepted?
Bosnia.
39. Did It oozzzzz out? or...was it a gusher?
Dribbles.
40. Was Mr. Prez Load warm? cold? Luke warm?....
I didn't get a large enough to tell.
41. Did Mr. Prez tell U he just kame back from a visit to an Aircraft Carrier and his load might bee somewhat salty?
He did say, "Watch CNN for your Iraqi suprise."
42. Have U gone 4 a pregnancy test yet? Did U get a upset stomach?
Think "blanks." No but my mother's did when I told her what I was don't in the White House.
43. After U swallowed the Mighty load...did Mr. Prez say "good little girl"? or Nice job..
"Stay right there. Vern's on his way over."
44. Did Mr. Prez tell U that U could joined the armed forces...He would make U a platoon leader
He did say something about a head position over at the Pentagon.
45. Did Mr. Prez tell U that Hillary is watchin' in the closet?
Ask anyone. Hillary came out of the closet years ago.
46. Did U have that Ruby Red lip stick on when U were sliding up and down his shaft?
Yes but it comes right off.
47. How Many xxxx did U suck on Mr. Prez Dick? Did he tip U ???
The cheap bastard hasn't paid for it since he was governor.
48. Did Mr. Prez ask U if it was...."good to the last drop" ?
He didn't ask. He told me it was.
49. Did U feel like U had "power" now that U blew the President?
Let's just say I tasted it.
50. Was the Load so great that your cheeks puffed up? did U have to dash out of the oval office to find a place to spit it? if so, what former Prez portrait did U spit it on?
It was so small, I need a second opinion to know he came.
51. How Long was his dong? lets go with the metric system here.....
Try Angstroms.
52. Can U describe any unusual tattoos on his prick? how many stories does he have?
If his prick was a Victorian house, all we would have is a basement.
53. Was there a secret service agent near bi to make sure U didn't bit it? by the way..did U leave any teeth marks.
Scmucko's thing is small, he'd be lucky if I could leave a tooth mark.
54. Do U have false teeth?...if so...did U take them out and give him a "gum job"
Haul it out and I'll show you who has false teeth!
55. Did U suck on his balls? if so...how many does he have....
No. He said Hillary had them.
56. After U blew his brains out....did he tell U any national secrets?
My lawyer said you weren't going to ask about Vince Foster.
57. Did U smoke a Joint be4 the "act" or afterwards?
During.
58. Did U inhale while sucking on his dick?
Have you ever tried to breathe with a cock stuffed in you mouth?
59. What does Mommy and Daddy think about U sucking the Prez dick?
They asked if they could too.
60. Did Mr. Prez tell U it's better if U swallow his children.
Cheslea's straight and Hillary has a thing for older, ugler women like Janet Reno.
61. What did Mr. Prez dick smell like..did it already have "maiden oil on it"? if so, on a scale of 1 to 10, how did Hillary taste?
Did you ever smoke a dog turt?
62. After Mr. Prez kam....did he grab his dick and slap U with it? or ...rub it on your face?
No but he gave it a "high five."
63. Be4 U started...did a OSHA representative give U a pair of safety glasses?
No, a blindfold.
64. Who was the first Person U told that U blew the president's brains out? did that person ask U If he was a minute man missile?
Hillary and no she didn't.
65. Have U applied for workman's compensation because Mr. Prez took 3 1/2 hours to kum..
Are you kinding? He may say boxers on MTV but we're really talking brief.
66. Did Mr. Prez ask U if U like sucking cock?
Yes and I asked him if he knew anyone that has one.
67. When Mr. Prez was getting ready to cum...did your eyes open wide?..was your pussy wet?
I knew JKF and he was no JFK.
68. Who was the first person U kissed after U sucked on Mr. Prez dick? did they say U have climax breath?
They asked if I'd been blowing the dog again.
69. Did Mr. Prez ask U for 68....U blow me...and I owe U one????
Yes and the cheap bastard still owes me one.
A special thanks to James A. Russo for the questions.
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March 22, 1998 |
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