Monica Lewinsky

White House Trailer Trash Soap Opera

Starring Smucko, Booba and That Woman

Hello,

Looks like Clinton will get his wish to go down in history. (That's assuming there's anyone left to chisel it into a rock.) -- and Monica Lewinsky too for that matter. "I'm off to the library to get my historian kneepads."

By now, you've heard the White House Trailer Trash is off to Iraq to trash Saddam Hussein's trailer. The biggest obstacle to this pseudo military operation is of course a catchy name for CNN. -- Not counting not disturbing Monica from her position on the presidential staff.

James Carville, with the help of a presidential focus group, solved the problem by coming up with "Operation: Desert Thunder." Mike McCurry, First Liar, told the White House Press whores the following names are no longer operative,

Operation:

• Desert Fart.
• Desert Kill the prick.
• Desert Pinprick.
• Desert Wag the Dog.
• Desert Press Conference.
• Desert Ignore the man behind the curtain.
• Desert Dessert.
• Desert It's Bush's fault.
• Desert Revenge.
• Desert Hey! Look over there.
• Desert Monica.
• Desert Didn't Carter try one of these?
• Desert Distraction.
• World War III.

Since Clinton has had his shot at trashing the military, it only seems fair that they should have the chance to return the favor. Especially if we might not have a military come April.

What the military calls Clinton behind his ample backside:

Coward-in-Chief
Commander-in-Crime
Liar-in-Chief
Commander-in-Shame
Air Farce One
The First Bubba
Monica's Pacifier

And the Secret Service now calls Al Gore: The Swine in line. -- and so does Monica for that matter.

Little Johnny is on the playground fighting with one of his friends and calls him a "a useless sack of pond scum that can't keep his zipper shut with a welding torch and a padlock."
His teacher hears this and explains, "Johnny, you mustn't say that. You should say 'How can we correct this misunderstanding?'"
Later in class, the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me who's the president of the United States?"
Little Johnny's in the back waving his hand like a flag in a "May Day Parade" and since Little Johnny usually can't answer any question, she calls on him.
Little Johnny stands and tells the class, "I'm not sure but my old man says it's 'How can we correct this misunderstanding?'"

Mind Games:

Ask an anti-abortionist if Clinton's mother should have had an abortion.

Ask a free speech liberal if Rush Limbaugh should be taken off the air.

Do Vietnam draft dodgers support Desert Thunder?

Does the Surgeon General think Monica Lewinsky is safe sex?

Try telling your spouse oral sex isn't adultery?

Since NOW (National Organization of Women) isn't complaining about the Monica-Clinton Scandal, does that mean we should raise our sons to be presidents and our daughters to wear kneepads?

When they say "turn the other cheek," what body part are we talking about?

Henry Kissinger said, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." Does this mean Clinton is a "Spanish Fly?"

Peter Jennings explained to his viewers, "We must parse what the president says." Both of them turned to each other and asked, "What's on channel 9?"

Do "Weapons of Mass Destruction" include the television networks?

Would you hire Don King to run the Iraqi war?

During Watergate, the reporters used to ask Nixon, "What did you know and when did you know it?" Now they're asking Clinton, "What did she blow and when did she blow it?"

When Clinton and Gore were first elected, Gore gave Clinton three envelopes and said, "When you get in trouble, open the first envelope."
Sure enough, a couple of months in office and along comes the Whitewater scandal. Clinton opens the first envelope and it reads, "Appoint an independent consul to bury the problem."
This works for a few years then the Campaign Financing scandal breaks. So Clinton opens the second envelope. One word, "Lie!"
Now Monica Lewinsky pops up. Clinton in a panic opens the final envelope.
"Introduce President Gore."

Investigators are trying to determine who's been calling 900 numbers from the White House.
No, it wasn't Clinton calling the Hot Sex Talk Line.
It was Gore calling the Psychic Hot Line and asking, "Who's going to be the next president?"

After all the big government give-away programs Clinton announced in his "State of the Union" speech, the Democratic Party will swear it was playing bridge with Clinton when Monica claims to have been giving oral briefs to the head of state.

As they say in Arkansas, "May your tackle box always be full of dynamite,"
...wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/tasteless/

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