Covering the latest Clinton scandal is like trying to review a XXX rated movie for my three year old grandson. -- If he's a Pee Wee Herman fan it only gets worse.
It is truly a sad day when someone as crude as myself feels uncomfortable repeating in all male company what has been reported to have gone on in the Oval Office. Between you, me and the turtle on the fence, I'll have trouble looking at the presidential seal with a straight face again.
OK, enough with the editorals. On with the jokes:
Diplomatic break through, Saddam Hessian is willing to let Monica Lewinsky inspect the presidential palaces. Rumor has it a "short arms" inspect is also on the agenda.
Secretary of State, Albright, continues to deny President Clinton ordered an air strike on Iraq because Saddam Hessian said, "Give me five minutes with Monica Lewinsky and I'll show her how a real man does it."
I'm not saying that junkyard dog was mean but he was on me like a White House intern on the president.
The thing that brothers me about the "vast right-wing conspiracy." Is if they have the power to change everyone on the planet into a right-wing mole, why don't they just rig the elections like the Democrats do?
I don't know if it's just coincidence but since Clinton took over the White House, the elevators only go down.
When Clinton told Monica he had a place "down under" for her, she thought he meant a condo in Australia.
In an effort to clean up the streets of Washington, DC, the police have started giving "street walkers" one-way bus tickets to the White House.
When President Clinton was told his approval rating had risen to 74%, he asked his staff to find out if Monica has a sister.
You have to admit, it's kind of weird when the First Lady stands by her man when his mistresses are publicly complainting he cheated on them.
Do you ever wonder how a few inches got so much mileage?
Of course employment is up. Thanks to Clinton every hooker in Washington has someone to do.
Yes, President Clinton will leave a legacy. He'll be the only president whose biography will be filed in the X-rated section (banned everywhere but Boston.) -- Hunter S. Thompson eat your heart out.
Did you hear about the three carriers Clinton sent to the Perian Gulf? Most hillbillies only get to fish with dynamite.
I'm waiting for the press conference where a reporter pipes up and asks the president, "Do you expect us to swallow that?"
If all the bimbos Clinton has had "proper sexual relationships" with were lined up end to end. It would smell like a fish market trying to unload the weekend catch on Monday.
Does Monica Lewinsky have to file an IRS return for her presidental income?
Previous Clinton/Monica Jokes page
|
|
March 22, 1998 |
Back to Tasteless |
Webmaster: The Web Walker |
