In this exchange all the AOL email addresses are the same guy.
From: Suisseus@aol.com Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 18:34:02 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: John Denver jokes X-Mailer: AOL 4.0 for Windows 95 sub 170 What a bunch of low-lives to write these stupidities. If even they were funny! The idiots who wrote them probably think they are.
Hello,
Does you mommy know you're on the Internet? You really should let her check your email before you make a fool of yourself.
AOLers get enough bad press without you wandering around proving their point for them.
If you don't want your pathetic sensibilities damaged, don't look at web pages that have "tasteless" in the URL. Better yet in the future, turn off your PC before you start your web browser.
Get a clue. Get a life. Get a sense of humor but mostly just get lost.
Have a good day,
...wtb... - http://www.byrum.org/aol/
From: ABELL1998@aol.com Date: Sat, 18 Jul 1998 01:07:20 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: SICK X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 for Windows 95 sub 57 These John Denver jokes a so rude. you people are sick in the head for writing them.
Why do you have such a hard on for John Denver? Don't girls like you?
At last, a use for my third wish.
You can have my ex-wife.
Is that toilet paper stuck to your shoe or are we getting married?
Who writes your jokes? Al Gore?
After your mother had you? Did she nail her cunt shut and cover it in super glue?
Are you mooning me or smiling?
Your mama was so fat, Leroy wasted an extra clip in her ass and McDonalds still won't take her.
Your mama's so stupid when she found out she was pregnant, she asked who's the mother.
Your mama was so bad in bed, the flies used to think she was dead.
Your cooking is worst than rat posion and there are still some rats alive to testiify to it.
If I was stuck on a desert island with you and three wishes, I'd still have two wishes.
You're smarter than me, you're bigger than me but come tomorrow, I'll still be able to shave looking in a mirror.
Nice tits! My compliments to your surgeon.
"I'm sorry I went to bed with your mother on our wedding night but you were already in bed with your father."
Far be it from me to suggest your family is inbreed but about those webbed feet?
"So with all those voices in your head. Did you take votes or what?"
"Yes, my mother did wear combat boots. She was in 1st Airborne. So what's your point?"
May the flea that climbed up your ass find happiness.
Your mama's ass is so big NASA wants it for their next landing.
Your sister is so ugly, we used her as a scarecrow before the EPA declared her a danger to the enivornment.
Your sister is so ugly, she couldn't get a date without that 45 you bought her.
Your sister is so ugly, it wasn't until she was 13 that we realized you weren't walking the family dog.
Your sister is so ugly, the family dog got it's fisrt date before she did.
In the dictionary, under ugly, isn't that your mother? Sorry, I forgot you can't read.
Your mama's ass is so fat they measure it in light-years.
Your mama's pussy is so large James Kirk jumped in screaming, "Where no man has returned from before."
When the lawyer read your mother's will and said, "For our children," he had explain that you weren't one of them.
The doctor feels your tits and says, "Too bad, I just finished inserting two that look much better than these."
Rosemary tells you she had a better child than your.
The young man to the old man: "Come morning, I'll have a young thing and you'll wish you could have a good shit."
If your brains were dog shit, you could walk around New York City without a pooper scooper.
From: Hemdancer@aol.com Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998 03:06:52 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: Yo, Funny Man with the John Denver jokes! X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 for Windows 95 sub 64 Well, what have we here? Some dickhead who thinks it's funny when someone dies. What's up, dude? The ol' inner child striking out because he was neglected as a child? Trust me, cowboy.....dead person jokes are not funny. It's lame, kiddo...lame as hell. Here's a thought...try pulling the wings off flys. I hear it's a big hit with jerk-offs like yourself. 'Course, calling you a jerk-off probably doesn't bother you. Oh, by the way.....Was that you on "Jerry Springer" the other day with your lover/mother? Damn, can't believe that I just wasted two minutes acknowledging your sorry ass.
From: OOPSETTER1@aol.com Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998 03:37:32 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: John Denver Jokes X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 16-bit for Windows sub 61 I will not waste my time, nor yours, trying to tell you what a wonderful, caring, and considerate human being John Denver was. The whole world already knows it, and if you are so ignorant that you have not found out by now...well...so be it. My gripe with you is the fact you are putting all of the stuff online for the world to see...sure, you have the right of free speech...but a person should be able to show a little more taste in what they decide to post. Maybe you didn't like John Denver...and maybe you have a small audience of people who did not like him, either, and are enjoying your sick humor. But the vast majority of people are NOT enjoying what you post...so stop it at once. You are messing with the World Family of John Denver...and there are enough of us, just in sheer numbers, to overwhelm your computer mailbox...so just try us!!! I'll post your address to the newsgroup, and let the whole Family start sending you e-mail....the choice is yours... Stop. Cease. Desist at once...or feel the rage of the World Family of John Denver!!! Yes, we're peace lovers, and tree huggers...but we have the faith and the courage to stand up for what we believe in...and we believe that you have no right to post such disgusting mess about John Denver. So...put that in your pipe and smoke it...
Hello [name deleted],
Just how many AOL accounts do you have? At this rate, you have more accounts than I have free AOL disks and I've got enough to built a dog house.
If you can keep up this pace, I'll add your stuff to my AOL page <http://www.byrum.org/aol/>. If it gets better, I might have to create a hate mail section for http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/tasteless/.
First a quick critique of your latest work, then back to the flame war.
At 03:06 AM 7/19/98 EDT, you wrote: >Well, what have we here?Nice opening. Kind of sinister.
>Some dickhead who thinks it's funny when someone dies. >What's up, dude?It's OK but some would prefer "dick-wad." More modern. With the times.
>The ol' inner child striking out because he was neglected as >a child?Good start, weak finish. I would have went with:
The ol' inner child striking out because your old man butt fucked you as a kid? Did your mommy help?
>Trust me, cowboy.....dead person jokes are not funny."Cowboy" is weak. Go with something stronger like asshole or faggot.
>It's lame, kiddo...lame as hell. Here's a thought...try >pulling the wings off flys.Not bad. Lame sadist. You're a sadist and you aren't even good at it. Still, it sounds a little too much like James Carville for my taste.
I'd have gone for necrophilia(? fucking dead people.)
...try fucking their corpses to get off.
>I hear it's a big hit with jerk-offs like yourself. >'Course, calling you a jerk-off probably doesn't bother you."I hear" is dangerous because to some degree it includes you in the group you want to insult.
"probably doesn't bother you" should be used very carefully. It also suggests to your victim that your insults shouldn't brother him. Which of course defeats the whole point.
>Oh, by the way.....Was that you on "Jerry Springer" the >other day with your lover/mother?Good. Contemporary and goes for the mother.
>Damn, can't believe that I just wasted two minutes >acknowledging your sorry ass.Nice touch. You're so low insulting you is a waste of my time.
OK, give me a minute to get into character. I've been flamed. You don't like me, my jokes or my mother. OK, got it.
You arrogance piece of shit. Who died and left you in charge of humor and grief?
During the two minutes you wasted forcing yourself into my life, I've learned your sense of humor is somewhere between "South Park" and "Dumb and Dumber" and your IQ has ambitions of reaching room temperature someday.
When you're sweeping up the halls of the elementary school, don't you ever wonder why you don't get the jokes you overhear the children telling each other?
If you hadn't been born of parents that were brother and sister, you might of had a chance of understanding humor is an important part of the grief process (of course you would have lost out on those great webbed feet.)
What did Jackie get for Christmas? A Jack in the box.
These jokes have been our response to grief as far back as I can remember (we're going with my memory here because no one has ever accused you of being the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.)
Some people have wakes for the dead and lean the stiff in a corner during the party. What kind of things do you think a house full of drunks are saying to a dead guy?
"Hey John, looking sharp tonight."
"Your widow's looking pretty good. What do you think? Just a little quicky. I'll be in and out in no time."
"You bastard! Anything to get out of that 10 bucks you owe me."
"Hey everybody! Look at this! He was too tall to fit in the coffin. They cut his feet off."
"Uh, John? You going to finish that drink?"
"Don't worry. I'll gas up your plane first thing tommorrow."
"Never got around to that tuneup I promised you. Sorry about that."
If you're still watching Jerry Springer, please, please seek professional help before it's too late.
May the lapdog of love, bite off your fireman,
...wtb... - http://www.byrum.org/misc/southpark/
P.S.
I saw Steve Case with your momma last night. She was really pissed off at him too....something about..................
"He wasn't able to keep her online"
P.P.S.
If you want to know how I traced you back, reply from your usual email account. Save the AOL accounts for this great flame war.
Hello,
At 03:37 AM 7/19/98 EDT, you wrote: >I will not waste my time, nor yours, trying to tell you what >a wonderful, caring, and considerate human being John Denver >was.But here you are wasting your time. You are trying to fill that empty void John Denver has left behind inside you. We feel your pain. You can lean on us.
>The whole world already knows it, and if you are so ignorant >that you have not found out by now...well...so be it.Dry you tears little buddy. We're all your friends here. We'll get over it together.
>My gripe with you is the fact you are putting all of the >stuff online for the world to see...sure, you have the right >of free speech...but a person should be able to show a >little more taste in what they decide to post.You see OOPSETTER1@aol.com that's the problem with free speech. If I took down the pages and buried them in the backyard and stacked my dog on top that would be censorship. Do you see how it works? Even if I agree with you, if I take down the pages now it would be against free speech.
And free speech is what we believe in no matter how much it hurts because it is so important.
>Maybe you didn't like John Denver...and maybe you have a >small audience of people who did not like him, either, and >are enjoying your sick humor.NO! No, you have me all wrong. I loved the man. I have tears in my eyes while I write this letter.
But you said it yourself, it about free speech. It's out of my hands. We could go to Bill Clinton and ask him to write an executive order banning the page but until then my hands are tied. It's become a free speech issue.
>But the vast majority of people are NOT enjoying what you >post...so stop it at once. You are messing with the World >Family of John Denver...and there are enough of us, just in >sheer numbers, to overwhelm your computer mailbox...so just >try us!!![Editors note: Hate mail must always be careful about crossing the line into threat. That will put it into the land of LAW. Not a good idea if you hope to have a career and family in your future.]
OK, slanchnic boy! I try to be nice a nice guy and what do I get? Threats! So you and both the other John Denver fans want to kick my ass? I'll put a sign out front, "Here I am assholes." Think you can find it or do you need directions.
>I'll post your address to the newsgroup, and let the whole >Family start sending you e-mail....the choice is yours...Try putting the other oar in the water, you got my e-mail address from the newsgroup.
>Stop. Cease. Desist at once...or feel the rage of the >World Family of John Denver!!! Yes, we're peace lovers, and >tree huggers...but we have the faith and the courage to >stand up for what we believe in...and we believe that you >have no right to post such disgusting mess about John >Denver. So...put that in your pipe and smoke it...So you're going to kick my ass in the name of peace and then fuck me senseless in the name of virginity. What's in that pipe you're smoking?
I can only hope you and your sister never have children but I do wish you the best of luck in your marriage,
...wtb... - http://www.zark.com/
From: Hemdancer@aol.com Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998 13:36:42 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: Re: Yo, Funny Man with the John Denver jokes! X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 for Windows 95 sub 64 Greetings Red Baron! Guess you flamed ol' Snoopy pretty good! War is 'ell! Have to agree with you, old man. Guess my IQ did sink quite a bit when I decided to respond to your stupid jokes. Call me crazy, but I just tend to get a bit pissed when people go after the deceased. Got to agree with you on some of them, though. Personally, don't think I could handle another Elton John dead blonde song, either! Tell u wut. I'll play nice if you will. Don't really have time for a joke war. I'll go on believing that people like John Denver made a difference in this crazy ol' world and you do your thing. You're right. We need all the humor that we can generate! And my apologies to your mom....ain't my style. I prefer to reserve my bitter wit for those who've actually offended me in some way. So, give 'em hell, cowboy. And thank the almighty that we live in the good ol' USA, where we can enjoy the likes of Dennis Miller and George Carlin. And, if that means I have to endure your stuff, too, so be it! "'Course, that's just my opinion.....I could be wrong." Personally, every time my radio gets stuck on a "New Country" station, I know just how you feel. OH, btw...the James Carville line...nice touch! Now, if you could only hook me up with his girl, Mary....something 'bout the immoble lips. Talk about necrophilia!!! Sorry 'bout the abundant screen names. Didn't even think about which one I was under. "I ain't hidin' from nobody....nobody's hidin' from me...." Oops, now you know I'm a Skynyrd fan...Please....no redneck jokes...LOL! Just "Call me the Breeze!" I'm outa' here>>>>>>> My compliments to the Jokemaster! Peace! [name deleted]? (couldn't find "[name deleted]" in the ol' Webster's....)
From: OOPSETTER1@aol.com Date: Sun, 19 Jul 1998 16:14:34 EDT To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: Re: John Denver Jokes X-Mailer: AOL 3.0 16-bit for Windows sub 61 What a sick mind you possess. In fact, calling your mind a mind at all is stretching a small thing a very long distance. You resort to threats, half- truths, vulgarity, and stand on your perverted understanding of free speech. Then you try to tell me that you love John Denver, and had tears in your eyes as you wrote your letter to me? Now surely you don't expect me to believe that. This will be my last correspondance to you...you see things your way, and I see them mine. You have demonstrated that you are not open-minded enough to even consider what anyone else has to say, and are not willing to compromise. So...go ahead, and live in your pitiful little world. Just remember...you have not affected me. My life is full of joy...the joy of living, and being able to appreciate the things around me...and working to make this planet a better place to live for all of us...you included. These are the things that John Denver taught me...and the legacy he left for those of us who truly loved him and understood him. And, whether or not you like it, we are all brothers on this giant blue ball we call home, and even though we do not know each other, the positive things I can do will have a positive effect on you. And yes, it's true, the negative things you do, such as the sick jokes, will have a short term effect on me...the positive things we JD fans are doing will far out-weigh anything you can or will do...and even you will benefit from them. So calm your temper, my brother...for you must live in the same world that I do, and like it or not, I am fighting to make it a better world...of peace and harmony...so you can see there is no reason for us to be fighting a war of words. You may not agree with me or other JD fans. But in some way, some time, you will be affected by what we are doing...and if the truth be known, you already have been. Go forth in peace, my brother...for we do truly live in "One World"...just as John Denver said and sang about. Walk in peace, OOPSETTER1
And who says I don't let other people have the last word?
July 19, 1998 |
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