I can see Netscape 3 Beta 6 on the horizon but it hasn't docked yet. Maybe next weekend.
Friday was the last day of my C++ class. I am now officially a C++ god. Enough about my problems where did we leave off last week?
Lance Steel: "I see my mission now. I must console the mourners of the victims of TWA Flight 800. They must be told what fine people their husbands and wives, fathers and daughters were. Only I have the knowledge to tell them."
Igor: "Homer, why has the author tagged your dialogue as Lance Steel?"
Lance: "You want the author to stop the whole story just to come up with an explanation to satisfy you?"
Attention Priority E-Mail
To: Terrorists@terrorist.hq.com From: Mr.Bill@whitehouse.org Subject: Re: Ransom Demand
Web: "Igor, what's this?"
Igor: "Looks like your White House email tap is still working."
>We want one billion dollars cash in plain McDonald's wrappers >left at the Watergate hotel. Do not try to pull our FBI files. >We will be watching. >If we do not have the money in forty eight hours, we will >be forced to start blowing stuff up. Come on fella's, I don't have that kind of money. The government is broke. What little cash that does show up goes into my legal defense fund. How about Rhode Island instead? Bed and breakfast for life in the Lincoln Bedroom. I'll even throw in Hillary. Would you like to be my Vice Presidential running mate? Ambassador to Arkansas? Come on fella's could you at least hold off on the bombings until after the Election?
While Pat secures some transportation, we might as well check out the rest of the priority email.
To: the.web.walker@pobox.com Subject: Happy Birthday / qoSlIj yItIv from the Klingon Language Institute! We've discovered, from the World Birthday Web (http://www.boutell.com/birthday.cgi/), that it's your birthday! So... A very happy birthday to you, from the Klingon Language Institute! Or, as we like to say "Quchjaj qoSlIj." DuQuchmoH neH jajvam 'e' wItulbej :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :: Dr Lawrence M Schoen, Director :: The KLI is a nonprofit :: :: The Klingon Language Institute :: tax exempt corporation :: :: POB 634, Flourtown, PA 19031 USA :: DaH HuchlIj'e' ghonob :: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :: lawrence@kli.org :: http://www.kli.org :: 215/836-4955 :: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
To: (Recipient list suppressed) From: Rob McKinney <robm@worldramp.net> Hello my Birthday friends, I hope for this one day, everything is right in your world. It's a shame some idiot ruined our special day with the bomb in Atlanta. Pray for the victims and try and find time to have some fun today! Rob McKinney :) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rob McKinney Phone: 407.740.5987 Marketing Director Fax: 407.740.7250 World Ramp, Inc. Email: robm@worldramp.net 2221 Lee Road www.worldramp.net Winter Park, Fl.32789 Home Page: www.worldramp.net/~robm/ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Where there's smoke, there's toast!"
Pat has returned with a fine Cadillac so it off to New York and Lance's soul saving mission.
Chapter nine: "We get this story moving again" or "Birthday
boy gets his act together."
Reader E-mail:
From: Smart Hunter <laugan-w@amauta.rcp.net.pe>
Subject: a interesting URL
Checkout:
http://www.hotmail.com
From: "SoCoOL Bob" <rkennedy@sonic.net>
Subject: Re: The Web Surfers Report - 7/21/96
Hey Dude ...
Check Out http://www.socool.com/socool/news/unmail2.html
and tell me what you think ....
Want to sell SoCoOL Yo-Yo's and some other SoCoOL Products on
Your Web Site ??/
[ All the stuff that pulls it together deleted but check it out anyway. - Ed. ]
SoCoOL Bob
Don't Miss the All New SoCoOL SC-2 Terminator Tornado
Coming to a Web Site Near You !!!
http://www.socool.com/socool/yo-yo.html
To: Jim Bergsten <bergsten@arkres.com>
Subject: Re: Another horror from the past...
At 03:26 PM 7/23/96 -0700, The Ark Man
launched:
Will the useless swine try to sue www.share.com?
>Now all you need is the Hilton Home Page...
>
>http://www.freeways.com/findit/maps/LAX/HOTEL/1660.html
Oh no, not the cocktail waitress from hell. She could actually slap
down a paper napkin with a popping sound like a Las Vegas Blackjack dealer
hitting your double down.
The only person in the whole damn place that smiled was the first one that
took our money.
The scum suckers even held our car for ransom.
From: "Bill.Nadzam"
<nadzam@bills2way.com>
Subject: Re: The Web Surfers Report - 7/21/96
Check out my domain! and Web Page.
Web: Good luck on your new business. Watch out for them revenuers!
From: doorman@hooked.net
Subject: THE MERCK MANUAL...Play Doctor at Home
Good morning.....
I found this a rather useful site.....it is the Merck Physicians Desk Reference....all that is required to use it is that you register, that you are in fact a US Citizen....has a lot of useful information in it....that is, if you feel the need to play doctor at home....
Good luck........
http://www.merck.com/!!rDEl70iecrDEl72Toa/pubs/mmanual/
From: doorman@hooked.net
Subject: Interesting WEB Site....
Wilt,
In USENET, This particular person was complaining that they were kicked from AOL due to TOS violations.....due to the content of their WEB Site.
I checked out their new WEB site....and found it to be not a Family Oriented Type WEB site...which Steve Case would be ...well....not happy with ...at the least.....
So...with that in mind.....check
http://pages.prodigy.com/adele/adele1.htm
From: The Web Walker <the.web.walker@pobox.com>
Subject: Re: AOL sucks page...
Hello,
At 06:58 PM 7/22/96 -0400, you wrote:
>I liked your page, UNTIL you made the comment about Linx...
Thank you. I enjoyed the compliment UNTIL "UNTIL."
>"If your running Linx we need to talk..."
>About what? I run 2 HTML clients... Linx 90% of the time, and Mosaic
10% (to
>see how other people on the net will see them...) I love Linx... try
my
>Netscape page and maybe you'll wise UP!
As a product of the People Republic of California's Re-education center, "wise UP!" is not a probable event in my future.
>http://imssys.imssys.com/~ataru/netscape.htm
I've finished reading your exhaustive and compelling argument. It isn't often someone stands in the middle of the tracks and rails against the oncoming train.
I would like to suggest a few points not addressed in the web page:
Numero uno) With the growing illiteracy in this country, text will soon be useless as a general form of communication. Reading and writing will become mystical rites used by the rebels who managed to escape the brain washing of the public school system. Government efforts to exterminate the rebels will force them to abandon plain text and begin hiding the text messages within pictures. This has already begun at: http://www.zark.com/
Numero two-o) Why would Windoz users suddenly notice a few extra system crashes and blame it on Nutscape. As they say in the PC world, "If you didn't reboot today, I ain't doing squat." Hell, even Unix users would be hard put to notice another system crash.
Numero trey-o) The whole thing can be viewed as an argument in a bar, one of those friendly Texas bars with the sawdust on the floor to soak up the blood and teeth, between a biker and a red-neck. Their busting long neck Buds over each others heads to explain the merits of a striped down hog versus a fully loaded winabaga. The predictable result being the rest of the bar patrons drag the warring combatants complete with vehicles over the nearest cliff. Well, at least that's how they do it in Texas.
Numero 4-0) There are more important issues to be discussed:
Are Sheep pages
better than toaster
pages?
Hope to see you at the end of the line.
The Web Walker - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker
Drunk: "Is
this 911?"
911: "Yes sir, do you have an emergency?"
Drunk: "I'm stuck in a phone booth."
911: "Sir, where are you?"
Drunk: "I'm at the Stop & Go. Hold on. Let me check. Yeah, the Stop & Go at the corner of Telephone and Telephone."
911: "Sir, what is the nature of your emergency?"
Drunk: "I'm trying to tell you. I hit this deer. I figured it was dead. Now is it mine or the dog's?"
911: "Did the dog bite you?"
Drunk: "I was trying to tell you the deer bite me. I thought it was dead. So I threw it in the back seat. Then it woke up and bite me in my neck. Now the dog has gone and trapped me in this here phone booth."
911: "So you're calling about a deer bite?"
Drunk: "No, like I trying to tell you. When I opened the door to tell you where I was, the dog started biting my leg. Now you got to tell it who's deer this is! Can I keep it or do I have to give it to the dog?"
President Clinton: "... and with a national 911 emergency number there will always be an open line for this week's URL's."
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July 28, 1996 |
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