The Web Surfers Report

June 2, 1996

The Robin and the Coyote


I was going to try for "The Robin and the Coyote" again this week when the pseudo reality of Cyber-Space popped itself into my in-basket.

The editor at posted my new article, The President's Pickup is Late.

The publisher of furious let me know their web site has moved to While we were exchanging email, he also goaded me into doing a new piece, December 31, 1999, 23:59:59: Mankind beats the computers to the punch, for the next issue. Since it won't be published until July, Web Surfers can get a sneak preview at My previous article, The President's Reelection is Missing, from the May issue is also available at

Sportsline USA offered to send me a T-shirt if I linked to their web site. It looks like I just did so where's my T-shirt.

Timory Leary is dead. I thought about commenting on his death but I figure if you remember the 60's you wasn't really there.

I also spend some time messing around with that CGI (Common Gateway Interface) stuff. The first result of my little experiment is "The Plug of the Day" program. An example of which is on display at

While I deal with my end of the month statistics and celebrate the Whitewater trial convictions with a few of the boys from the conspiracy bunch, Igor will attempt to entertain you with ...

The Robin and the Coyote.

A blind man and his deaf son are walking on a gravel path away from town. Behind them, a sign reads, "Welcome to Animal Farm. Population 1984."

As the blind man continues to explain to his deaf son what his dead mother is feeling, a mute passes them on his way into town. The mute, saying nothing continues to lean forward into the non-existent wind.

"That's not a mute. She's a mime," explains the deaf son.

"Who are you talking to?" Asks the blind man, unable to see the narrator, of his unheeding deaf son.

The mime, remembering the point of this story, motions toward a robin in the nearby field.

The robin, grounded by new FAA regulations, is unable to fly south for the winter. Now covered by the first snow of winter, the robin begins to freeze.

A mad English cow, leaving fear, disease and death in its wake, part of a goodwill tour sponsored by an unnamed animal rights organization, spies the above mentioned near dead bird. Realizing the predicament of our robin, our heroic death and disease spreading heifer drops a patty square on the now stiff bird.

As the robin thaws, it wonders why the cow has done this. "I'm not a statue and that cow sure wasn't a pigeon," ponders the robin.

A coyote comes across our now somewhat gross scene. Plucking the robin from its warm nest of excrement, the coyote takes it to a nearby stream. Finding a hole in the ice left from another story, he cleans the robin off.

"Thank you, kind predator of the wild," rejoices the soon to be late robin.

"You're welcome," replies the coyote spitting out a few left over feathers.

The moral of this story is left as an exercise to the blind man and his deaf son.

This just in from the wire service:
NEWPORT, R.I. (Reuter) - David Dietz, of Nantucket,
set sail for Plymouth, England in a bucket.
The Third Turtle lost her mast
and The Green Wave had to save his ass.
Now he just sits around saying, ... "This week's URL's."

  1. Timothy Leary's Home Page - I figure the least I can do is plug his web site.
  2. The Disgruntled Postmen Cartoon Series - It may not be psychedelic but it should bring back memories of old dull school days.
  3. Let There Be LIGHTS! - The car with Christmas tree lights has a web page.
  4. The Ultimate "Weird Al" MIDI Page - Something for the Weird Al fans.
  5. THE DOCTOR IS IN! - Now that the links have taken a twisted turn, I couldn't leave out Dr. Demento.
  6. A Free Mind - independent of your political leaning, the animated rantman.gif is good for a chuckle.
  7. Lazy B Llamas - Colorado's llamas complete with sound.
  8. Knowledge Adventure, Inc. - a site for kids with a reference section for products of the California education system.
  9. Hogan's Heroes! - It has come to my attention that Hogan's Heroes is a popular TV show in Germany.
  10. Heather's Happy Father's Day Page - For Kids Only!!© - Father's Day must be coming up so here's a holiday link.

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June 2, 1996
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