The Web Surfers Report

The Web Walker is on assignment this week.

Therefore, I, Igor, will deal with this week's report. Ha, ha, ha! I'll show them. Yes! Yes, I'll show them all. I have my secret stories. Secret stories no one knows.

It had been a triumphant night. We'd gathered together as one. Well, not exactly as one, some the Buchanan supporters got out of hand with the pitchforks but we did storm the castle and burn out the mad doctor and his monster.

The next day, I'm strolling though the village enjoying the smell of victory. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a tailor shop. I say to myself, "It's a victory day. I deserve a victory suit."

So I pop into the tailor shop. "I'll be wanting a fine new suit my good man," I explain to proprietor. Grabbing a tape measure, he reaches toward my privates. Slapping him down, I explain again, "I'm just here for a suit!"

The tailor holds some bolts of cloth to my body, fumbles with the tape measure and disappears between some curtains into a back room. When he reappeared, he's holding up my new victory suit. Snatching the suit from his trembling hand and shoving him against the wall, I try it on.

Admiring myself in the mirror, I complain the right sleeve is too long. The tailor says, "No problem, just bend your arm like this," as me maneuvers my arm like a mannequin. After half and hour of arranging my arms, legs, feet, hands and eye brows, the suit looks great.

As I'm limping down the road, careful to keep my new suit in complete order, I run into Bill Clinton. "I'm in need of a new victory suit," he exclaims, as he whacks me on the back nearly knocking my new suit out of alignment. "Where did you acquire such a fine piece of work?"

Only able to point my nose without dislodging the suit, I turn toward the tailor's shop. "Thank you sir," he replies over his shoulder as he departs toward the shop. "If that tailor can fit a cripple like you just think what he can do for a strapping young man like me."

1. Welcome to Sin City - A little something for the Penn and Teller fans.
2. Elvira-Gateway - just the thing for the Elvira fan.
3. JAWS - The Home Page - looks like a must for Jaws fans. Multimedia and reviews.
4. Frostbite Falls Page - Don't want the Rocky and Bullwinkle fans to feel left out.
5. Welcome to Callahan! - another cartoonist on the 'Net. For details see. Callahan: Pop'n Wheelies On The Internet
6. Spirograph - a cute applet demo.
7. Netscape Tricks - (Stupid?) Netscape Tricks.
8. No More Secrets! - I think I've been here before but it sure has changed. Watch out for the 99K of audio and animation.
9. Da Man's Web Page - Not the mayor of San Francisco but funny in it's own way.
10. WLYN 1360AM Home Page - Just the thing for the restless web surfer.

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