Beg now, Pay later.

Hello all,

We all thought Clinton was bombing Kosovo into to the stone age (short trip) to distract from his Chinagate problems but here are the real stories he's trying to cover up.

First, "if you're going to San Francisco, bring your VISA card because the bums don't take American Express." http://dailynews.yahoo.com/headlines/od/story.html?s=v/nm/19990324/od/panhandlers_1.html

Karen Gatter, director of a Solutions 2000 think tank, has a vision of an army of panhandlers equipped with credit card-type machines that could "swipe" donations from VISA, American Express or bank ATM cards marching through the streets of San Francisco. "More than a Band-Aid solution," this gadfly's road of good intentions to utopia goes by the dubious handle of "Benevolending Box Program."

Mayor Willie Brown, an early supporter of the proposal, would receive eighty percent of each contribution made via the credit card "swipe" shakedown with the bum doing the shaking being allowed to keep the other twenty percent. This, of course, after the credit card company took its five to fifteen percent off the top.

Terry Hill, San Francisco's coordinator for homeless issues, unsure of his percent of Willie's share was equally unsure of his endorsement of "any program that pushes panhandling."

Paul Boden of the Coalition on Homelessness, a never-do-well of gay bathhouses, was less pleased with his zero percent share of the scam. "I think there's a couple of levels where it's just bizarre," he whined.

Also under consideration are Fast-Beg badges that allow the wearer to contribute without actually having to stop and smell the street flora. Pre-paid BUM (Bring yoUr Money) cards, AC/DC (Asset Confiscation via Direct Contribution) allowing the purchaser to send his (or her) contribution directly to the wino's liquor store. The Adopt-A-Bum program which for a small monthly maintenance fee the adoptee will scrawl personal letters during his drug inducted highs and a Lay-A-Day plan where the homeless learn the world's oldest profession to support their life style on a hourly basis.

Second, "Do you know where that cigar's been?" I don't have a source on this story so I will just quote the email I received.

* Continuing efforts to repair relations after a bruising impeachment trial, President Clinton brought back gifts from his Central American trip for Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.), as well as for Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.).

He sent them very large cigars. The stogies arrived with an engraved card that read, "Compliments of President Clinton."

Clinton has sent cigars before to Byrd, an aficionado. As for the Lott connection, well, nobody in the Republican senator's office even wanted to talk about it.

Rather than sniggering over the implications of all this --

or shuddering at the president's judgment once again -- The Source prefers to cower behind the old Freudian admonition that "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Third, "Rolling Dumbo."
http://search.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/WAPO/19990319/V000727-031999-idx.html

The same people that put a pathologic lying, draft-dodging, dope-smoking-but-not-inhaling, Slick Willying, didn't-have-sex-with-that-womanizing, OK-but-only-once-with-Gennifer-Flowers, nuclear-secret-selling, travel-office-firing, feeling-up-your-pain, Whitewater-swindling, corrupt-cabinet-appointing, warmongering, FBI filegating, toe-sucker-hiring, pants-dropping-wet-willie-kissing, power-abusing, sexual harassing, impeached rapist in the Oval Office don't think Dumbo is a good role model for "the children."

Dr. Adam O. Goldstein, assistant professor of family medicine at the UNC-Chapel Hill School of Medicine, is upset that Dumbo drank a bottle of champagne and dreamed of pink elephants. The darling doctor also claimed that between 1937 and 1997 thirty four cartoons were produced that depicted the smoking of tobacco. -- Would the good doctor have prefered the depiction of tobacco products as a marital aid?

A Walt Disney Co. spokeswoman did not suggest Dr. O. was reality challanged but could not help but wonder what products the Doctor is smoking.

MWM seeking sanity in SFO,
....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/