Top Ten Signs You May Be a Sexual Predator

Hello all,

The first step to recovery is admiting you have a problem but to take that first step we have to overcome denial. -- No, not some river in Egypt. Just because your lawyer believes "she was coming right for me" or "I was just thinning out the herd," doesn't mean a jury will.

So if you or anyone you know is suffering from at least three of the following symtoms, you or they should seek immediate medical attention (Of course, if you or they belong to an HMO, that may be impossible.) If medical attention is unavailable or just too must trouble, run for office. In politics, being a sexual predator is an asset. Worth 10 maybe 20 points on any poll.

Top Ten Signs You May Be a Sexual Predator

10. Sex starts with "don't ask" and ends with "don't tell."
9. You have a "Victim On Board" warning sign stuck to the back window of your pickup. Astro-Turf is optional.
8. The phrase "it depends what you mean by rape" frequently comes up in conversation.
7. Your job requires you "minister" to young interns.
6. Larry Flynt comes over to look at your photo album.
5. You believe rape is consensual if at least one party agrees to it.
4. Everyone says you're doing a great job but no one asks you to babysit their children.
3. You give serious thought to asking out a 500 year old mummy.
2. Your ex-girlfriends are interviewed on network television during primetime. Ex-boyfriends on the Jerry Springer show don't count.

And the number one sign you may be a sexual predator ...

1. You live in a big white house on Pennsylvania avenue.

Or make your own top ten list:

• Always wondering if other people wear break-away underwear.
• Most of your dates end with a can of mace in the face.
• Your favorite pickup line is "Scream and you're dead!"
• The "Hot Sex Phone line" has a restraining order against you.
• You think tying up and gagging are foreplay.
• Refer to sex as the "Thunder Dome." Two people enter; only one person leaves.
• You check your pantyhose for runs but wear them over your head.
• Most of the neighborhood children look like you.
• Have never taken "No" for an answer.
• Hanging out at the domestic abuse center to pickup dates.
• You consider a K-bar a sex toy.
• Refer to school buses as "the dessert cart."

Viagra, not just for breakfast anymore,

...wtb... - http://www.byrum.org/the.web.walker/humor/evolution.html