Election Day

Hello all,

You may have heard that Tuesday is election day. I don't know about you but I'm going to go out and buy one.

We all know how civic minded I am, so I thought I'd share a couple of recommendations from out local newspaper the San Jose Mercury News (SJMN).

Ban on sales of horsemeat ........ no -- This may be in keeping with the free school lunch program but I'll never eat in the SJMN cafeteria.

Taxes on contaminated property ... yes -- Imagine living on Love Channel and getting a notice your property taxes have been raised.

Ban leghold traps ................ no -- SJMN must have a lot of TV wrestling fans.

Partisan presidential primaries ... yes -- I thought the politically correct position was non-partisan. Everyone should vote for liberal candidates in all parties.

Indian gambling .................. no -- Bigots. I figures an Indian's money is as good as a whiteman's. BTW, whatever happened to Native American?

City sales tax sharing ........... yes -- Sharing it with the SJMN?

Candidates with funny names the SJMN supports: Anna Eshoo, Zoe Lofgren, Judy Zlatnik.

* * *

I personally think this voting thing is overrated. You can only vote for people on the ballet. On the other hand, you can not vote for anybody.

You can only vote on election day. You can not vote anytime you please.

You have to go to the polls to vote. You don't even have to get out of bed to not vote.

You have to register to vote. Not voting is a truly secret ballot.

Look at the profit side. Only one candidate can buy your vote. You can sell your not vote to all of them.

If you go out and vote then come home and see a great attack ad, you can't change your vote. Not true when you don't vote. You can change who you're not voting for anytime, anywhere.

Politicians take people that vote for them for granted but how can they take you for granted if you don't vote for them. How will they even know who you're not voting for?

Think about it, Eleanor Clift has voted for Clinton maybe five or six times but I've not voted for Clinton more times than he didn't have sex with those women. Hell, I've even not voted for Eleanor a few dozen times.

The "Lost in Space" cast can't vote for John Glenn but every man, women and child in Ohio can not vote for him. Even Chuck Yeager and old growth forests can not vote for him.

Nobody can vote for James Carville but anybody can not vote for him. That's democracy in action.

Any good politician can get 110% voter turn out but 0% sends a real message.

My father used to vote Republican. Now that's he dead it's a straight Democrat ticket.

Voting is for dead people. They don't have anything else to do. If the living don't vote, they will have more time for important things like paying taxes and wondering where that cigar's been.

The best reason to not vote. No matter who wins when they start banging White House interns, you can say, "Don't look at me. I didn't vote for him."

I can live with who I don't vote for. Can you live with who you do vote for?

Don't vote early and often,
....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/

P.S.
Q: Why is Clinton so interested in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless club.