Dr. Laura

Hello all,

Due to a bug in Microsoft Word, I found the following memo included in a Word document I received today.

To: All Talk Hosts
From: Station Management
Subject: Doctor Laura's Ratings

It was come to our attention the rating for Dr. Laura's talk show have recently taken off faster than a White House spin team. We assume this is due to the posting of her nude pictures to the Internet. While we still believe our promotional program of giving a can of brake fluid to every fifth caller is responsible for the overall improvement in ratings, this singular improvement should not be overlooked.

Therefore, we, in conjunction with our parent corporation, feel it would be in the best interest of the station for all hosts to provide nudes pictures of themselves for posting to the Internet. Of course, picture taken before you joined the station will not require the mandatory mouse ears hat or station call letters tattoo.

If you do not have nude pictures of yourself, submit pictures of someone that looks just like you.

In the event you do not provide a nude picture of youself, we will post nude pictures of Burgess Meredith with your name and face on them. This is not an idle threat. We still have dozens of pictures left from last year's failed Halloween promotional program to attract older listeners.

We hope to schedule group photos with all staff members later this week.

This is also a good time to take off any time coming to you as we have a stable of well known porno stars available for guest hosts.

Our 7PM to 10PM programming will be replaced with "Hot Licks with Long Dong Silver." Please plug this show as required by station policy.

As always, any complains, suggestions or original thoughts can be left in the trash can next to my desk.

Signed,
Station Management

Enclosures:
Dr. Laura nude pictures

Unless Sharon Stone will let me use her picture, there goes my career in radio broadcasting,
....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/