The Ken Starr Report

Hello all,

Unless you live in a humidor with a bunch of cigars that smell like fish, you heard the Ken Starr report was posted to the Internet today.

Well, I have to tell you I'm pissed off. If these network TV news air heads want to tell tasteless jokes, let them get they own web site. How would they like it if I started reporting the news?

Ken Starr released thirty-six boxes of files in the hall, take one out, wave it about and we have thirty-five boxes of files in the hall. Film at eleven.

The Web Walker (recently self appointed news commentator asks Eleanor Clift, heartthrob of the President): Permit me to quote from the Ken Starr Report, "According to Ms. Lewinsky: '[H]e was chewing on a cigar. And then he had the cigar in his hand and he was kind of looking at the cigar in . . . sort of a naughty way. And so . . . I looked at the cigar and I looked at him and I said, we can do that, too, some time.'" Is this the kind business that should be conducted in the Oval Office?

Eleanor Clift: Praise the lord and pass the cigar. Mr. President, if you're listening, take me. You won't need the bimbos. If should bastards on the hill have to impeach someone, let them impeach Hillary.

[Editor's note: At this point the Web Walker crosses the line and becomes really, really tasteless. Cover your eyes and hide your children. You have been warned!]

Web: It doesn't bother you that the only time Clinton wanted to eat Monica's muffin was when she was on the rag?

Eleanor: Who doesn't want a wet jelly roll once and awhile? Mr. President, you can eat mine and I'll bring the cocktail onions.

Web: OK. With that nauseating thought in mind, let's ask Madeleine Halfbright why blowing up an aspirin factory in the Sudan is the center piece of American foreign policy.

[Editor's note: At this point the Web Walker has completely lost it and will start whining. Forget this whole thing and move on to the next email.]

What is the big deal with the Ken Starr report? Doesn't everyone wander around with a wet cigar stuck up their ass?

I don't care if people go bouncy, bouncy, bouncy in the back seat of their car at a drive-in movie but I don't won't them going bouncy, bouncy, bouncy on the big red button that destroys the world.

The president of the United States uses our military power to attack another country and says it's a private affair between him and the first cunt? I don't think so.

Thanks god the bastard has passed out,
....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/

P.S.
Coming up next, a summary of the Ken Starr report.