Nuts, Balls and Sleaze.

Hello all,

Last week we had a news story about the Department of Transportation requiring airlines to provide "No Peanut" zones. Today, there is talk of the IRS charging the grounds keeper that caught McGwire's 62nd home run ball with a million dollar gift tax.

What else could we have expected? If we let them control our nuts, of course they're going to tax our balls. -- What next, McGwire deducts strikes as lost income?

With Ken Starr giving his XXX rated report to Congress on Friday, how are the networks going to explain it?

* Clinton was exploring a cave with his flashlight and it wasn't Hillary's cave.
* Clinton rode his train through the wrong tunnel.
* Monica was playing the flute in the wrong orchestra pit.
* Clinton was putting on someone else's green.
* Hole-in-one with the wrong golf ball.
* Hitting a home run in the wrong ballpark.
* Clinton was blowing off the wrong questions.
* Bowling 300 in the wrong lane.
* Hillary had her finger in the wrong dike.
* Placing bets in the wrong casino.
* Clinton was playing Blackjack and hit on 21.
* Not Circle Office, it's Oval. Jerk!
* Knocking on the wrong door.
* Picking flowers in the wrong garden.
* Plowing the wrong field.
* Toeing the wrong line.
* Dropping the eight ball in the wrong pocket.
* Playing pocket pool at the wrong table.
* Clinton was producer, director and leading star in the Oval Office reenactment of "Animal Farm."
* Clinton was playing on the monkey bars at the wrong playground.
* I can't repeat what went on in the Oval Office but "South Park" has covered all of it.
* Eating "wild oats."
* Clinton was drilling for oil in a foreign field.
* Clinton was caught with his buns in the wrong oven.
* Clinton drilled the right tooth in the wrong mouth.
* He been sitting in the Oval Office, threading the wrong needle.
* Right car. Wrong parking space.
* Clinton shouts, "Coming through! Make a hole," in the Oval Office when Monica is the only one with him.
* Flushing a load down the wrong chute.
* Dropping a load in the wrong diaper.
* Landing on the wrong aircraft carrier.
* Parking in the wrong hanger.
* Test driving a car without the owner.
* Cashing in your chips at the wrong window.
* Punching the wrong ticket.
* Setting your watch to a different time zone.
* Filling your pen from the wrong inkwell.
* Making a candle with an old wick and young wax.
* Banging a cheap gong in the wrong Buddhist temple.
* Puting his stock in the soup.
* Cooking his soup in the pot.
* Hiding his salami in the wrong deli.
* Baking his loaf in the wrong kitchen.
* Washing his hands in the wrong sink.

Latest bumper stickers:
"Impeachment hell, get a rope."
"There isn't a second intern. The president told us so."
"The boy president that cried 'no sexual relations.'"
"Dodge this!"
"Improper inter-species relationship."

Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: Ankle warmers.

If you stay within 10 feet of a toilet, it's only the "walks,"
....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/

P.S.
On a personal note, my email to the O'Rielly Factor on Fox News was read on the air tonight. If you're curious, here it is:

I haven't seen journalism like yours since Woodward and Bernstein went after Nixon. In their case, they really were out to get him but it was true. In your case, I can see the pain you feel every time your have to turn to the next page in Clinton's lurid story but still you keep turning because you want to know the truth.

P.P.S.
I haven't heard from the other viewer yet but if you know him, tell him I'd like to get in touch.

P.S.
Coming up next, a summary of the Ken Starr report.