Unburdened by Truth

Hello all,

I finished up my transcript for South Park's 0th episode, The Spirit of Christmas [Baby Jesus vs. Frosty the Snowman] . Since this seems a great way to make a living, I thought I'd try my hand at another one. -- With every program ending with "for a transcript send money," how can it miss?

I was channel surfing and came across this talking head show on a new cable network, Not! News.

Unburdened by Truth

Hosts: Former defense attorney Ima Liar and retired Arkansas state prosecutor Ima Loser (at $500 an hour Not! News can't afford real lawyers as hosts.)

[Music: A really bad theme song is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Hosts, Liar and Loser are seated to the left. Guest, James Carville is seated on the right. Center stage behind them are large photos of Fred Fryed, Liar's last client, -- He got the chair. -- and Marvin Maniac, defendant in the last case Loser prosecuted. -- Marvin is a serial killer and still at large.]

[Camera: Zoom in on Liar.]

Liar: He's a loser.

[Camera: Pan right to Loser.]

Loser: And she's a lair.

[Camera: Pull back to include both Liar and Loser.]

Liar and Loser (together): And welcome to "Unburdened by Truth!"

Liar: Tonight we will discuss how a recent federal appeals court decision has endangered our hunk of a president.

Loser: Yes, Ima. An out-of-control Ken Starr convinced three extremist Republican judges to force the Secret Service to rat-out the president.

Liar: Thank you, Ima. Now let's go to our first guest, James Carville. Jimmy, what do you think of this ridiculous decision?

Carville: Please call me James. We don't like people to remember the Carter administration. Clearly Ken Starr is out of control and Linda Tripp isn't much of a friend. This verdict is wrong. Just plain wrong and we'll appeal it to the World Court or Red China if we have to.

Loser: Sorry, Jimmy. I forgot to add the Linda Tripp spin to the opening question.

Carville: It's James! Right now! At this very moment, our president is in danger because of Ken Starr and a bunch of Republicans. The right-wing militia could walk right into the Oval Office and force the president to smoke cigarettes.

Liar: Yes, Jimmy. How can I hope to have oral sex with this or any other president with this kind of invasive spying by the Secret Service.

Carville: If I hear "Jimmy" one more time, I will rip open your chest and show everybody your lungs.

Liar: Ima, I think that's our time for tonight.

Loser: Ima, I think your right.

Liar and Loser (together): And we're "Unburdened by Truth!"

For a transcript of tonight's show send money to me. That's my house care of me.

Well, I have to get out of here. The "Black Helicopters" have found me again. I've got to check the guns, ammo, Claymores and tank traps; see if Igor is asleep at his post and make sure no one is still working from the "Waco Defense Plan."

'Til next time, ....wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/