Viagra: Breakfast of Champions

Hello,

A reader of this mailing list asked what the sacrifice of the Tiananmen Square protesters might mean to Microsoft or President Clinton. So I thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter.

For Microsoft, sacrifice means putting up with the vengeful wrath of an outraged public that comes from selling software that's as reliable as a campaign promise just to be billionaires.

For the Prez, sacrifice means not being able to publicly brag about all the bimbos he's nailed just so he can get reelected.

For the rest of us, it means living under the threat of Communist Chinese nuclear weapons so Red China can buy the technology it needs to conquer the world so Loral can make the profits it needs to donate to the Clinton/Gore Campaign so Clinton can get the campaign funds he needs to get reelected so Bill can be in the Oval Office that Monica Lewinsky services.

So, why did the old lady swallow the fly? Because it was Spanish and the FDA hadn't approved Viagra yet, don't you know.

Speaking of Viagra, did you hear Israel ordered prescriptions of Viagra halted after six deaths. The coroner hasn't announced the causes of death but he did admit that all the victims died with smiles on their faces.

Great Britain had a shipment of Viagra stolen. Scotland Yard is reportedly looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

It isn't like Clinton's advisors don't already have enough to worry about with India and Pakistan testing nuclear weapons and Red China threatening to follow. Now they've been told Clinton just got his first prescription of Viagra. I figure at a minimum, they'll have to repaint the walls and replace the rug in the Oval Office.

You have to feel sorry for Monica's replacement. It must be like trying to go down on a fire hose gushing at full blast. Maybe that's what happened to Vincent Foster. He got the back of his head blown off playing crash dummy for a Viagra blow job.

After two days on Viagra, a 70-year-old man is divorcing his wife. In another week, he'll be in court arguing for the right to take his girlfriend to her high school prom.

Just what the world needs, 70-year-old men cruising the singles bars. Dirty old men turning in their raincoats for polyester suits and gold chains. Discos haunted by old, winkled, little woodies shouting, "Feed me! Feed me!"

If those images aren't enough to give you nightmares. I just heard, they've discovered a vacine to prevent AIDs. Between that and Viagra, tourists will need wading boots to walk the streets of San Francisco this summer.

Are these the delusions of a brain deprived of blood by an overactive erection or is Viagra the long lost "Fountain of Youth?" It's too soon to judge but at least for some, it can return both their little brain and big brain back to the days of their puberty.

...wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker
P.S.
I've started an archive for this mailing list at:
http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/humor/