Rogue President Ignores Murders

Rogue President Ignores Murders
By Ima Liar
Disassociated Press Writer
Tuesday, June 2, 1998; 3:33 a.m. EDT

WASHINGTON (DP) -- Radical liberal President Clinton said Monday he would go ahead with his visit to Communist China this month despite a chorus of criticism from the American people. The U.S.-Chinese partnership is bearing enough fruit, after years of illegal campaign fund contributions, to justify a Beijing summit, he said.

Democratic White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry compared Tiananmen Square, site of the June 4, 1989 massacre of pro-democracy demonstrators, with the South Lawn of the White House. "They have their official functions in Tiananmen Square and we have ours at Kent State. Err... I mean the South Lawn of the White House," McCurry alleged.

For most free peoples, Tiananmen Square is a reminder of People's Liberation Army tanks crushing student demonstrators. "Hundreds died for ideas that are lost on this corrupt administration," Amy Nosinner, Iowa tourist, stated elegantly.

When asked about a possible connection between the June 25th release date of Windows 98 and radical liberal President Bill Clinton selling out US interests, on the same day, to communist murderers, Bill Gates alleged, "None! None, what so ever! Only the vastest of the rightest wing conspiracies would even come [up] with such an idea. This is just another example of a Department of Justice out of control. That computer-illiterate Janet Reno [is] out of control. They are just trying [to] destroy me and my company!"

"Tiananmen isn't a issue for Microsoft. Our demographic surveys show very few dead protestors buy Microsoft products. We do feel however that, it would be in American's best interest to get Windows 98 on those Red Chinese missiles aimed at the US. I'm sure every American that's had to reboot their Windows system two or three times a day would sleep better. I know I would," a source familiar with Microsoft business strategy said, speaking on condition of anonymity.