Top Ten Reasons For Clinton Visit To Red China.

1) Check up on some campaign checks that bounced.

2) Red China has the only McDonalds in the world that hasn't run out of Beanie Babies.

3) Trying to avoid Kenneth Starr's latest subpoena.

4) Clinton found out not one of Red China's nuclear weapons are pointed at Beijing.

5) Wants to find out just how far Dominoes will deliver.

6) The president of Red China wants to see what he's been paying for.

7) Clinton figures a virgin with bound feet is a lot easier to catch than those Arkansas girls.

8) Just because Congress doesn't want him to.

9) Wants to inspect latest deployment of U.S. missile technology.

10) With 500 million females, there must be a few Clinton hasn't hit on yet.