50 Ways to Dump Your President.

Hello all,

Did you hear Clinton is going to visit Tiananmen Square? Bet he apologizes for that one too.

Wonder if he'll apologize for San Francisco and LA if the Red Chinese nuke them.

I know that coming from Arkansas Clinton's understanding of technology is limited to fishing with dynamite but why can't he at least grasp the idea that he has given the Red Chinese the ability to fish off the Golden Gate bridge without buying an airline ticket?

It used to be when a Japanese tourist asked, "Where's the Arizona Memorial?" You could answer, "Right where you left it!" Now we'll have to tell them, "After that Red Chinese nuke, it's over there ... and over there and some of it's over here."

Since the spineless Republicans in Congress are too witless to understand "They Are The Majority!" much less that they have a constitutional duty to impeach a corrupt president, it's left to me to suggest:

50 Ways to Dump Your President.

OK. Nobody really wants to hear a top 50 list, so let's just go with the highlights.

50) Open a 24 hour, "all you can eat" rib joint across the street from the White House.
47) Turn the White House into a trailer park and wait for the next tornado.
39) Have the White House lifeguard announce, "Everybody out of the pool."

Do you ever wonder what the White House lifeguard sees and worst yet who has to clean it up?

33) Give him a permanent guest host spot on "Larry King Live."
29) Replace all White House interns with 80-year-old men.
23) Require lie detector test for oath of office.

Don't I know about you but a lie detector test is what kept me from a career as a convenience store clerk.

21) Install Oval-Office-Cam with direct cable feed to Ken Starr's office.
19) Let a health inspector into the White House and he'll condemn it faster than a Chinese Restaurant next door to an animal shelter.
17) Require drug test.

With a drug test, not only could we dump the president. We could turn Washington, D.C. into a ghost town or at least make it a mayor-less city.

10) Put tacks in the Presidential kneepads.
9) Give him all the keys to the Playboy key club.
7) Send "draft notice" to White House.

At least then, he'd be Canada's problem.

3) Tell Hillary where Bill's bedroom is in the White House living quarters.

If Clinton thought he'd have to sleep with his wife, he'd be back in Little Rock like stink on a shunk.

2) Put an ad in the Washington Post that explains there are more 13-year-old virgins per square mile in Alaska than Washington, D.C.

And the number one way to dump your president without going to the trouble of writing a "Dear John" letter ...

1) Replace all the Secret Service agents with Postal workers.

Since I don't want to leave the impression I've suddenly sided with the Democrats, I must remind you the House voted unanimously the four witnesses, that can connect Red China's money to the White House, should be given immunity. Which leaves us to wonder, who were the 19 communist agents on Dan Burton's committee who kept voting against immunity.

Good night and don't forget to put out the cat,
...wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker

Safe Sex: What Houdini used to have while the audience was waiting for him to escape from the safe. Think about it, why are magicians always making beautiful women disappear. You didn't think it was just alimony payments?