Top Ten Reasons People See "Titanic."

Hello all,

First, if you see your (and other people's) email address in the To: field, it's a mistake. I'm trying a Eudora feature.

If you're like me and haven't seen "Titanic," you're wondering why so many people went to see it. If you're not like me and you've seen it, you're looking for an excuse to explain why you went. Either way, here are the top ten reason people went to see "Titanic."

10) Chickened out on the real voyage and want to see what they missed.
9) Some bum was sticking free tickets under all the windshield wipers in the parking lot.
8) The guy in line behind you said, "I hear people that see 'Starship Troopers' have accidents. You don't want to have an accident. Do you? Better see 'Titanic.'"
7) No one in the public education system knows how it ends.
6) "The devil made me do it."
5) Anything that goes down is required viewing for White House interns.
4) After a day of dodging bullets at school, an iceberg seems like a happy ending.
3) The "a" and "i" fell from the marquee and people wanted to know what the "c" in "Tit n c" meant.
2) Three words: "The Magic Christian."

And the number one reason people go to see "Titanic,"

1) When they heard how many women went down on it they thought it was Clinton's biography.

If they're calling Clinton's administration the "Titanic," is Carter's being called "Gilligan's Island?"

From "lusting in my heart" to oral sex in the Oval Office, talk about "One small step for man. One giant step for mankind."

Thursday was a really bad day for me -- OK, maybe not as bad a day as some kids in Arkansas had this week but hot lead aside, it was still bad. -- and Friday wasn't much better.

First, there's taking the car into the shop. In California, letting someone work on your car is like hiring Clinton to tutor your teenage daughter in French ...

OK, enough with picking on Clinton. He's in Africa let those poor bastards deal with him. -- Clinton's favorite line in "Titanic?" "Women and children first!" Now that I think of it, didn't Janet Reno use that line at Waco? -- How about this?

Taking your car to a mechanic in California is like going to the horse races. You hope it's the horse you bet on that's fixed.

So where was I anyway? Oh, right. Bad day. You want a bad day. Try installing UNIX on a PC. You know why they call it UNIX? Because Hillary has the trademark on ball-buster and Bill's got ball-less.

I can't legally say installing UNIX is "cruel and unusual punishment" but my lawyer says the Supreme Court will hear my case in July.

I'm late for my alien abduction so I'll have to get back to you,
...wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker