Do you ever wonder...

Hello,

Do you ever wonder why we don't see any blind seeing-eye-dogs? -- Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Now that we have the Americans Disabilities Act (ADA) -- and an ocean bottom full of lawyers to enforce it. Why don't we see any seeing-eyes-dogs that are in wheelchairs, obese, terminally aggressive, drunk, stoned, under psychiatric care, postal, really don't like blind people, don't know how to cross the street or blind?

Should the unblind be required to hire blind seeing-eye-dogs and lead them around?

Should the blind be required to hire unblind seeing-eye-dogs for their blind seeing-eye-dogs?

How 'bout dog sled races where the teams have to be a mix of differently-abled dogs? Do you put the cripples in the back, the blind in the middle and the postal ones in the lead -- and hope they only attack forward?

How many "strikes" do seeing-eye-dogs get? Are they fired after leading the first person in front a truck or the third -- or would that just make them differently-abled and they can't be fired?

Do you ever wonder with all the people abducted by aliens, why haven't the aliens ever asked for ransoms?

Do they know what they're doing? Did they drop out of kidnapper school before the ransom lesson? Are anal-probes just fun?

I have to admit, I've met people I wanted to drag off somewhere no one could hear them scream. Are aliens only abducting people that piss them off? Do they force the abductees to make crop circles?

And what about those crop circles? Are they just trying to piss off farmers?

To me, they just look like gang graffiti. I figure it's just the alien teenagers getting drunk and marking their territory.

What were the eggheads at NASA thinking? They write a personal ad, include nude pictures and launch it into space. Who did they think would answer? I'm only surprised the aliens aren't wearing raincoats.

If NASA wants to catch an alien, why don't they follow Monica Lewinsky around? She's number one on every other perverts list.

Do you ever wonder at those psychic healing (where the sick people get cured, pass out and fall backwards) who has to catch the really fat ones?

You've seen it. A 500 pound one falls backwards and crushes Odie to the floor. Odie's waving his arms and turning blue. I'm wondering, "Wasn't the problem here being obese? Doesn't look like that was cured."

Do you ever wonder when the Terminator came back into the past to kill women named "Sara Conner," why she didn't just change her name?

You have to wonder about the people in the movies, if Arnold Schwarzenegger told me, "I'll be back!" I'd be on the next plane out of town.

Do you ever wonder if the people who make horror movies (where they always kill off anyone having sex) are trying to send a message to the president?

Do you ever wonder how much time you'd waste watching "G-Rated" movies looking for nudity, violent and adult language, if they weren't rated?

And what is this "adult language" label? Why do they call a bunch of teenagers misusing four-letter words "adult language?"

A teenager says something stupid like, "You pussy! I'm goin' a shit on yah."

An adult would say, "You fucking wimp! I'll rip out you lungs, shit on your heart, track down your children, throw them into a oil fire and impale your wife on my hood!"

Adult language is either the correct use of profanity or a bunch of talking heads on TV discussing what Monica Lewinsky was doing in the Oval Office with Clinton -- and if they put that in a movie, they're going to need a new rating.

Stick a fork in me. I'm done,
...wtb... - http://www.pobox.com/~the.web.walker/tasteless/