Hosts: Former defense
attorney Ima Liar and retired Arkansas state prosecutor Ima Loser (at $500 an hour
Not!News can't afford real lawyers as hosts.)
Liar: He's a loser.
Loser: And she's a lair.
Liar and Loser (together): And welcome to "Unburdened by Truth!"
Liar: Tonight we will discuss how a recent federal appeals court decision has endangered
our hunk of a president.
Loser: Yes, Ima. An out-of-control Ken Starr convinced three extremist Republican judges
to force the Secret Service to rat-out the president.
Liar: Thank you, Ima. Now let's go to our first guest, James Carville. Jimmy, what do you
think of this ridiculous decision?
Carville: Please call me James. We don't like people to remember the Carter
administration. Clearly Ken Starr is out of control and Linda Tripp isn't much of a
friend! This verdict is wrong!!! Just plain wrong and we'll appeal it to the World Court
or Red China if we have to!!!
Loser: Sorry, Jimmy. I forgot to add the Linda Tripp spin to the opening question.
Carville: It's James! Right now, at this very moment, our president is in danger because
of Ken Starr and a bunch of Republicans! The right-wing militia could walk right into the
Oval Office and force the president to smoke cigarettes!
Liar: Furthermore, Jimmy how can I hope to have a steamy affair with this or any other
president with this kind of invasive spying by the Secret Service.
Carville: If I hear "Jimmy" one more time, I'll hit you so hard when you wake up
your clothes will be out of style!
Liar: Ima, I think that's our time for tonight.
Loser: Ima, I think your right.
Liar and Loser (together): And we're "Unburdened by Truth!"
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