BOTH SIDES
of my Mouth
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Buz Hogan. In the wake of president Clinton's apology speech, we have invited presidentail spokesman Rahm Emanuel to be our guest. Mr. Emaunel has spent the last eight months defending the president in regard to the Monica Lewisnsky scandal. Hello Rahm. Tell us, how did you react to Clintons' Monday night admission that he did indeed have an affair with Ms. Lewinsky and lied about it for 7 months. Do you accept his apology?
Rahm: Buz, I'm not owed an apology. My job is to defend Bill Clinton. I lie for a liar. I'll follow Bill Clinton into the gutter if I have to.
Buz: Well now that the picture has changed what's your new strategy?
Rahm:
Rahm: Yes, I was hoping for a good spakni
Host:
"Both Sides of My Mouth" is a program that brings you both sides of today's
important issues. My name is Buz Hogan and I will be your host for the next hour as we
explore the issue of Gay marriage. We're here in Hawaii with Rep.Bernie Fwrank and
his partner Robert Von Flame. Yes sir. That's a real ocean back there. No cheap sets for
NOT! So Robert, why don't you tell our viewers what big event brought us here to
lovely Hawaii on Not! News' dime?
Robert: I'd be happy to. This is a great day for Gay Rights. As you know, America's
leftmost state has just passed a law approving same sex marriage.
Bernie: Grwate day? How can you call this a grwate day? Strwait couples can still get
mawwied!!
Host: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! One at a time please. We're in Hawaii. Relax. Squeeze the
beach sand between your toes.
Robert: You're right Buz. We shouldn't fight on a day like this.
Bernie: I'm sowwry Wabert.
Host: OK. Now back to our topic. What does Hawaii's new law mean to our audience?
Bernie: Forty nine states to go. Since the homophobic Wepublican congress passed a law
saying the other states don't have to honor Hawaii's mawwiages, we going to have to pass
laws in the west of the states.
Host: Can't the president just write an executive order?
Bernie: After that "don't ask, don't tell" [bleep], you think that [bleep]
two-timing [bleep] is going to do anything but [bleep] us or have us [bleep] [bleep]
[bleep] [bleep] ...
Host: Bernie, calm down. You're giving our censor carpal tunnel syndrome.
Robert: Bernie....remember what your speech therapist said, "Find your happy
place."
Bernie: Oh Wabert, I just get so angwy at the Prwesident, I cant' help myself.
Host: Let's change the subject for a moment. Bernie do you believe the President should be
impeached if he lied under oath, obstructed justice, and suborned perjury?
Bernie: Absowutely not!!
Host: But why not? Nixon was impeached for his part in lying about the Watergate break in.
What's the difference?
Bernie: The diffewerence is, Nixon was a Wepulican, he lied all the time. Pwesident
Clinton always tells the twruth, even when he lies.
Robert: Oh Bernie that was so profound. You know how much post-modernist newspeak turns me
on....don't you?
Bernie: It comes from my days as a young wadical activist Wabert.
Host: Well, we can see you two have a lot to talk about. Thanks for tuning in ladies and
gentlemen and tune in again next week .
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